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04 June 2012 @ 03:49 am
I finally plucked the courage to listen and watch Junsu's solo at Budokan. I wasn't as emotional as I expected. I guess I've let it drag on for too long, and lost most of the emotions through the nerves.

Lyrics to the song.

Jun.K - 편지를 쓴다/Writing A Letter
A song dedicated to his late father
For today's performance, I want to convey to you guys my heart. Early this year, I lost someone who is very precious to me. Why do we need to lose the precious things in order to feel its preciousness? Now the only thing that is left for me are regrets. So I thought to myself that I should put my heart into writing a letter. Of course the person can't read my letter and I don't know how to express and convey my heart as it is. Among the songs that I recently wrote for the person, I will let you guys hear a song called "Writing A Letter".

English Translation
Without any reason my heart hurts
It must've been because of you
Kept on thinking about you
Even when time passes
The thing that wasn't forgotten
Is because of our memories together
Why is it that I couldn't treat you better back then
I still feel that as though you are still besides me, My heart hurts
I am writing a letter to you
If I shouldn't be in pain and sad
If by any chance that time comes
If only you can know how this heart is badly longing for you
This is the only thing that I hope for
It really hurts
I hate seeing my screaming side
Now I want to send you off
I can't not do it
I can't not do it
I can't forget about it
I'm sending you off

Audio by 3u_u3, Kor by 태양평어깨 @junsu.kr, English translations & romanizations by KimBoPeepOppa @ JunkayStreet

Looked back at his cyworld post and twitter pictures, I am once again reminded of the sadness and grief.

May be taken out with full credits.


Before I knew it it's a new month since my dad and I have separated.
I don't know why it was so hectic
I didn't have the time to be sad because I was so busy
Thinking of it now it all seems like a dream
It still seems like a dream
My dad's work, house, papers, etc.
Are all my responsibility for the first time
Its a new task for me that I've never done
It seems harder because of this.
If I think about the funeral now,
to those who helped me feel less lonely
I want to thank you so much I could cry
I felt great warmth in this world.
Although I thought to myself that I need to become stronger
Every minute I feel a huge emptiness.
The pain that follows me makes my chest hurt.
Even today I wonder why my dad had to leave so suddenly,
and I'm sending away my dreams.
We lived separately for about 8 years
I have so much regret now
I didn't know that this would be the time you had.
The world is cold but warm. And warm but cold.

Also, there is a lot of you inside of me that I didn't know
I think I can grasp it now, I guess the time we have
ends right here.
The phrase that it becomes important once you lose it
There are still a lot of traces of you
I can't forget your voice
that would tell people that I am your first son.
The times you would come quietly and massage my shoulders
The times when you taught me boxing and soccer
The field that we would run around together. The sound of our breath.
A few days before you passed, you were worried about my knee surgery
You didn't want to worry others so you didn't tell them and went to the hospital
I can't see that you anymore, I can't hear you, I can't touch you
This hurts so much
I didn't get to tell you I love you
I didn't get to make a single memory with you as an adult.

I love you
I'm sorry

Please rest well now.

2012. 2. 26.
By Son Kim Junsu

And the last family photo they took on 8th Jan 2012.

How much has Su been hiding behind those smiles? All I want to do now is give him a tight hug.

I'm really glad his PM brothers are with him all these times and he's probably numbing himself by being busy with work.

Can we see more of vulnerable Su?

Baby, you know we love you.

Stay strong. 

Papa Kim in heaven has heard your letter.
feeling: sadsad
listening to: Jun.K - Letter